Wake Up
by Bludge
Summary: Maybe it’s about time for Grissom to decided………. R


Disclaimer: Maybe when the finally day comes when I own more then £1.50, I'll be able to buy this. But those days are a long way away :o( Oh well, we can all dream!  
  
A/N: Hey all. Slight changes have been made, because, thanks to Nicole, it's been proofed. Thanks to all who reviewed originally. :o) Hope you enjoy if you haven't read already. ~ Bex  
  
'Just wake up Grissom. Wake up.'  
  
Her words swim around your mind, plaguing it. You're just staring at the spot where she stood 10 minutes ago. You guiltily admit to yourself that you love to see her mad. Love to watch the passion and strength her rage conjures up. But you hate to see her cry. You hate being the one to cause those tears.  
  
Well done Grissom - she came to you for comfort, but because of you, she left in more pain.  
  
'Just wake up Grissom. Wake up.'  
  
She turned up on your doorstep in tears, still fully dressed in the clothes she'd worn on her date, and with the perfect skin on her cheek supporting a new bruise. Déjà vu from nights so many years ago filled your mind. Her new boyfriend - Carl was it - had hit her. He'd hit her. You wanted to kill him for hurting her. Maybe you should be killed too.  
  
You held her closely, trying to fight away the pain for her. You could smell the alcohol that clung to her breath and clothes. Southern Comfort to drown sorrow.  
  
Then she confessed to you how she felt. Her feelings for you: ones that reflected yours. She stared at you with vulnerable eyes and you turned her down. No, wait; turned down's too nice a way to put it. You rejected her.  
  
'Just wake up Grissom. Wake up.'  
  
You kicked her when she was down. Maybe you should have physically hurt her - at least she knows how to handle that. Yet somehow all the men who've knocked her around have never succeeded in causing her as much pain as you just did. Congratulations - we have a new winner.  
  
She shouted at you. But it wasn't the rage you loved. Where was her strength? Where was the passion? They'd been replaced by her pain. The pain you caused. She just shouted at you in an attempt to seal the hole in her armour she had made for you. The one you threw back in her face. The last of her screams kept running through your head as she turned and fled in more tears then when she had came.  
  
'Just wake up Grissom. Wake up.'  
  
They're all waiting in the break room for you. Waiting for their first case of the graveyard. You team her up with Warrick on the next shift - it'll be easy for both of you this way. When you hand her the file, she snatches it from your hand, never once looking at you. You try your best to hide the hurt, as you're in front of the others.  
  
They know something's up, though. They're too good at their jobs for you to hide it from them. And now they all share the same bleak knowing look; the one that is worn by children who know mum and dad have been fighting again.  
  
'Just wake up Grissom. Wake up.'  
  
You have to talk to her. The tension between you is tearing you apart. You can't concentrate on the case in front of you. Not like this.  
  
You see her pass by your office. Before you know it, you're on your feet and are rushing after her. You catch her up and grasp her arm. She spins round - her eyes narrowing into an icy glare.  
  
You're nervous. You barely manage to politely ask her to come by your office at the end of the shift. She only gives a muffled grunt in reply. The silence between you is how you've almost imagined being deaf would be like. Except this is different: you can hear this silence.  
  
'Just wake up Grissom. Wake up.'  
  
You fling your pen down on your desk. This place used to be your sanctuary, but now it's your purgatory. Your eyes are drawn hopelessly back to the clock. It's been 34 minutes since the shift ended. Maybe she isn't coming.  
  
Then she appears in your doorway. You can't help but let your heart rise slightly. But then it sinks again when you see her expression. She marches up to your desk and slaps a blank envelope down. Without a word, she turns to leave, but you call out to stop her. You ask her what it is. She tells you it's her resignation: she's been offered a job in Miami and she's taking it.  
  
You feel like she's rammed a knife into your heart and twisted it. Maybe it would have been kinder if she had. She marches out again leaving you all alone. Hollowness fills you. You're about to lose her for good.  
  
'Just wake up Grissom. Wake up.'  
  
You're sure you are over the speed limit: you don't care. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters now apart from this. You stopped by her house to find she wasn't there and her mobile's switched off. Obviously she doesn't want to talk to you; but that doesn't bother you as long as she listens. She has to listen.  
  
You keep searching until the houses lessen and the roads turn into dust. The sea of sand - lonely and isolated - perfect exile for a man like you. You find a spot and switch off the engine. You jump out and kick the sand, letting out your pent-up up frustration. You stop breathless; as you touch your face you're surprised to find two silent tears trickling down your cheeks. Maybe it's about time you mourned your loss.  
  
Blinking into the sunlight, you notice a black car in the distance. You walk towards it, curiously wondering who else has chosen to come here. Then you see her. She's sitting on the hood of her SUV, crying. She hasn't noticed you yet.  
  
Before you know what you're doing, you reach out a hand to wipe away those tears. Old habits die hard. Your touch makes her head jerk up in shock, then she sees it's you. She flinches away, slides off the hood and starts to run.  
  
This is probably the final chance you've got before she walks out on you for the last time.  
  
'Just wake up Grissom. Wake up.'  
  
You call out to her; and when she doesn't slow, you sprint after her. You've never run this fast before in your life. You're running like your life depends on it. It does. You catch up and grab hold of her arm to force her to stop.  
  
"Let me go Grissom," She warns.  
  
"Not until you listen to what I have to say."  
  
"There's nothing left to say. I'm leaving and that's that."  
  
She tries to pull away, but your grip remains fast. You're not ready to let her go. Not like this.  
  
"Please, just listen to me," You beg.  
  
"Why?" She demands. "Why Grissom? What is there left to say? You've made it perfectly clear how you feel about me. I don't want your pity or apologies. Just leave me alone."  
  
She's close to tears again. You ignore them. This is too important. She struggles to get away, but you seize her shoulders. You hold them tightly till she's still and starts to look at you.  
  
"Please, I want to-"  
  
"To what?" She cuts across, "Explain? Apologize? If you are, then don't bother."  
  
'Just wake up Grissom. Wake up.'  
  
She's crying now. Where's the strength you admire? Where's is it now? All words fail you though you though you desperately want to help her.  
  
"You were one of the few things in my life that was real. That I could hold onto. I'd been thinking about that job for months and the only things holding me back was you, and now-"  
  
"I love you."  
  
There. You've said it.  
  
She freezes and blinks at you as if the words are alien to her. Or maybe they're just alien coming from your lips. The sun makes her tear-stained cheeks glisten; she doesn't resist when you gently wipe them away.  
  
"I love you. I always have and always will."  
  
You lean in closer now. Your lips are only millimetres away from her; her breath is making them tingle. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest. It's only a matter of time now.  
  
You close the gap and kiss her. Tenderly at first - being careful for her - but she deepens the kiss in return. Her arms wrap around your neck as yours move to her waist. Tongues collide: teasing, dancing with each other. You can't think straight. Everything's a blur. No one had ever made you feel like this. No one has ever managed to complete you like she does.  
  
You break apart, both of your lungs screaming for oxygen, whilst your heart wants her. You're like a junkie trying heroin for the first time: desperate for another hit. You hold her close whilst your finger traces her bottom lip. It amazes you how incredible she is.  
  
"Grissom?" She whispers hoarsely.  
  
"Mmm?" You murmur in response.  
  
She smiles; "I love you."  
  
You return it. "I love you too Catherine Willows."  
  
You capture her lips with your own again. This kiss doesn't last as long, but it makes you heart race and head tingle just like before. When you pull apart, you hold each other in a tight embrace. Then you begin to sway to music that only can be heard by lovers' ears. The world stands still for you, as you're captivated by this perfect moment.  
  
"What took you so long?" Catherine whispers softly in your ear.  
  
You caress her earlobe with your lips before answering in the same hushed tone; "I had to wake up first."  
  
A/N: So what do you think? This is only a one chapter piece, but reviews will be great, cos I love knowing what you think and it leaves a smile on my face. So hit that button NOW!! :o) 


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